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I officially have a Drafting table!!!! Thanks to my Partner and I we split the payment and able to successfully fit into our mid size car. 

This is my big step to start drawing and warming up my skills again. I have a few drawings I'm anxious to get finished and likely sell them or make prints.

I've tried and tried harder getting my self to lift a pen/pencil since moving in with my future in-laws. Making an excuse not to draw because of all their antique clocks/furniture takes up space for me to breath in my own bubble of creativity. I have drawn a few things for other activities but they were not my serious work, since reading so many articles and blogs about Professional illustrators encouraging those to shut up and just draw, I cringe and excuse myself to slack off and "Do it another time". I regret these stupid slack-offs for the pass three years and my creative juices are not like they used to be.
"Where's my young chipper self?" 
I really have no excuse to blame anything or anyone but my self, I mean f*ck! I live with a house filled with Antique clocks and furniture all around me and why am I not drawing any of them!?!?  

My merchandise job (full time) at Macy's is not an excuse to not draw, where am I getting this energy writing this down after working 8 hours and being up for 15 hours? 

I've been hesitant and struggling for help to ask encouragement from the pros I know, I gotta get out if this self exile I'm creating. 

New works, no post.

Journal Entry: Fri Feb 17, 2012, 1:24 PM
I have done a few drawings and colored works here and there, my Partners camera battery is bloated causing it to not function, so the camera is useless for the moment. It is not at all good since I use his camera to post my work here and also update with my family in the west coast.
I'm sorry to disappoint you all who are anxious to see what I'm going to post next. I'm currently budgeting to get a new battery soon so I can get it working, thanks to my job it feels so nice to earn income again!  

In other news I'm doing alright, since working at Macy's my wardrobe is almost looking conservative, never have I thought I like Ties and I am just absolutely obsess with them! The feeling of getting fresh new clothes from your hard earned pay, on a proper budget is so enlightening. I never imagine working in a department store and was never interested, here I am today working in one and loving it! I mostly enjoy helping customers and interacting with them, you learn a lot around your community and make special connections. I plan to work here at least more that 5-10yrs. This job suites me, I learn something new every day.


Journal Entry: Sat Nov 5, 2011, 7:54 PM

Baraka is a 1992 non-narrative film directed by Ron Fricke. The title Baraka is a word that means blessing in a multitude of languages.

One of my personal favorite movie all time.

The movie is like the  Discovery Channel series "PLANET EARTH" but more with an in site/Documentary of Humans in there traditional form and civilized along with all in there financial status. It blends back and forth with nature, religion, architecture, human society and unknown areas in the planet.

This YouTube preview is a short music video showing small parts of the movie, the actual film have beautiful music while capturing a few recordings of tribal ceremony and roaring waterfalls in South America. The music you hear in this preview is not in the movie itself, it's from the album "This Mortal Coil" (Waves Become Wings) and (Barramundi)

I can never get tiered of this movie, even this preview, it's a movie so 'Open' to everything in this planet and expresses every Human emotion you can think of.
This movie gives me the feeling of appreciation to everything.

I hope you get a chance to watch the movie, it's only 93min and the Author's Credit (Second Disk in the DVD box) is also 93min, it covers all the explanation of every shot they capture in the movie. Some places were restricted to film in certain countries and violating the law could end up costing your life, it's intense to see what the people went threw just to take a simple clear 10-25 second shot.

You can purchase the movie at amazon or ebay,
also it's available on Blue Ray.

I'll submit a few more previews of this movie later weeks ahead.

Fie on forward

Journal Entry: Sat Oct 15, 2011, 12:54 PM
Article from THE BEST TIMES By Bobbie Palagi Smith

I have a love hate relationship with e-mail messages. They are quick, effective way to correspond, but some people overdo it.
If you send me an e-mail(and I'd love to hear from you), please make it personal, please, and don't twitter me. I have enough problems with Facebook and it's soul searching questions, such as "What are you doing at this moment?" or "What's on your mind right now?"
My top e-mail dislike is forwarded messages. I rank them 1 through 5, based on my guilt over noncompliance.

1.   The Prayer Forward. These usually involve a catastrophic disease (often in children) or one asking me to pray for military personnel fighting for our country. What if a child or a soldier dies because I don't take the time to do as asked? I suffer major guilt over these.
2.   The Warning Forward These offer dire predictions about computer viruses, potential epidemics that could wipe out the planet, or financial scams. I'm never sure whether they hold any truth (even after checking, so I usually ignore them. I don't feel guilty now, but if the internet collapses or the world is ravaged by a plague, I'll know it's my fault!
3.   Political Forward. There are several forms of this computer animal. One ask me to contact federal and state officials about an important issue, add my name to a list and forward the information to everyone in my address book. I often agonize until the "sell by" date is over and it's too late. Call it the coward's way out. The other political e-mail is the "Believe As I Believe" message, which demands I vote for a particular candidate or political issue. I have no qualms about not answering or forwarding these. My beliefs are my business. Delete.
4.   Friendship Forward. These gush about what a wonderful friend I am and direct me to forward the e-mail to other friends within a specified amount of time (usually an hour or two) or I'll have bad luck. The amount of luck is based on the number of people I contact and how rapidly I comply. These are similar to chain letters of the past. I never participated in those, and my luck isn't the best. Could this be the reason? If someone is my friend, why would she group me with a group of other friends (or friends of friends) and wish possible disaster on all of us? Ignore, no guilt!
5.   The Funny Forward. Although some of these are funny, humor is subjective. I've asked people to stop sending them, but the persist. One friend of sends me several everyday with a promises such as "You'll love this!" or "This is hysterical. Be sure and read." Again, delete!

I do have one funny e-mail I'd like to share, however. Google "Charlie bit my finger." If you don't think this is hilarious, remember, "Humor is in the mind of the beholder." you don't need to forward this to anyone. I won't wish you bad luck.

Blistering Summer

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 2, 2011, 5:39 AM
"What kind of future do I envision
for myself? What kind of self I am
I trying to develop? What do I want
to accomplish in my life? The thing is
to paint this vision of your life in your
heart as specifically as possible. That
'painting' itself becomes the design of your
future. The power of the heart enables us
to actually create with our lives a wonderful
masterpiece in accordance with that design."

-Daisaku Ikeda, Founder of Soka University of America

I'm actually working on three drawings at the moment but taking it slow and not pushing my self to get them all done, rushing my work dose not capture what I envision to my piece.

Since it have been two month here in the mid west I am adapting to the extreme heat and humidity, also observing the art community and my area, it's a big city but flat and very relaxed. Since living with my Partner's Parents I have been helping them around the house and planning to get a full time job to get myself financially healthy again.
His parents collects a huge variety of Americana Antique clocks and statues in the early 20th to 19th century, this is another opportunity to draw more still life and create more fantasy drawings.

Thank you guys for being patience with me, I will post a few drawings in the near future.


TIME - A Fable

Journal Entry: Tue May 24, 2011, 9:21 AM
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Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Knowledge, Happiness, Sadness, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announce to the feelings that the island would sink. So, all prepared their boats and left; except Love, who wanted to preserve until the last possible moment. When the island began sinking, Love had to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, Please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by, so Love asked for help. "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh...Love, I am so sad. I need to be by myself," Sadness answered. Happiness passed by Love too; she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called out to her!

Suddenly, there was a voice: "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she even forgot to ask the elder his name. When they came to dry land, the elder went on his own way.

Love realized how much she owed the elder and asked knowledge, (another elder), "Who Helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because, only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

----------by Unknown Author

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  • Reading: The Lotus Sutra by Burton Watson

Kansas City it is

Journal Entry: Sat Apr 16, 2011, 12:51 AM
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Well, my partner and I decided to cut the vacation short here in Oregon since we both talk with my parents about doing some productive stuff such as making income and not lying around the house so often.
Mark (my partner) is currently taking two online schools for his Paralegal career to become a Lawyer but he is concerned about his fathers health matters, so after his second unemployment income in MAY we will be heading east to his parents in suburbia. I am looking forward to help his parents Antique business and helping his mom around the house since she a house wife all her life. I never experience a high up scale neighborhood with very wealthy neighbors so this is interesting to get buy with my bohemian/ghetto clothes. LOL

My stay here with my family have never felt so relief, I was able to meet up with a few friends and experience the Grand Opening for the Oregon Buddhist Center, I was able to be part of the celebration with many old friends and preform a short skit playing the Japanese Taiko Drum.

I life is so full of wonders and mystic. Just being out of my home in Oregon for a year have broaden a lot of gaps in my life, such as independence and Responsibility.
I look forward to continue this life I only have with my partner to explore what is there to enjoy, learn and grow.

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  • Reading: The Lotus Sutra by Burton Watson

Gallery clean up

Journal Entry: Wed Feb 23, 2011, 11:13 AM
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Scrapped a lot of old High School work and got rid of most deviations that were taken by a 'web camera' quality. I felt like I want to refresh my own gallery and move on, I needed to feel that those work I've done in the pass are no longer a good reference of who I am today. Most of my work I produced back in 2005 was daunting, something to muse myself, an assignment or something post to keep my watchers updated. I'm planning of redoing my entire gallery sometimes this year separating Photography and crafted Projects, leaving my main gallery as all my traditional work.

For now I am studying my still life skills, getting art Ideas around my books and the city.

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  • Reading: The Lotus Sutra by Burton Watson

Back home in Oregon

Journal Entry: Tue Feb 1, 2011, 2:01 PM
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It's a farewell for now to Los Angeles,
Due to financial tweaks and ridiculous apartment prices, Mark and I are back up in Oregon to stay with my parents just for two month or so. As were relying on unemployment money to save, our next move is to Kansas City, Kansas at Mark's parents home, as they will provide us a free living and food but we have to be productive or have a job. I am very excited to be in Kansas for a while working on Projects and connecting with the mid-west lifestyle, I actually like the Kansas Weather since it's humid in the summer time it's really good for my skin and always wanted to live in a humid climate.

Art wise, Now that I'm home with my parents my head is boiling with art ideas, since I'm reconnected with my old Gothic books and Cathedral wonderfulness I plan to get my self to draw my old Gothic style again. I'm looking forward to stay here for these two month with my family and perhaps visit my old friends.

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  • Reading: The Lotus Sutra by Burton Watson

A Youthful Encouragement

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 22, 2010, 12:52 PM
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I am studying this book called "A Youthful Diary" by Daisaku Ikeda
It's his own personal and poetic moments he wrote down in his daily life threw 1949-1960,
Daisaku Ikeda is formally know as the current 3rd President of the Laid Buddhist Organization Soka Gakkai founded my Nichiren Daishonin (AKA Nichiren Buddhism). You can Learn more from the link about this practice and I encourage a lot of Youth 18-35 yrs to read this book, though I find his words open to all faith and all ages.

I have read to the fist chapter and it filled me up with a lot of personal motivations, these chosen scrips are my favorite and I like to share them. When I read more threw out the book I'll be posting more. :)

Youth. Youth has many dreams. Fearful dreams. Beautiful dreams. Dreams of yearning. Dreams of Hardship.
Impressionable youth. My dreams expand daily; both suffering and joy have their significance. Dreams of youth, chasing after rainbows. Turning the wheel of effort, progress, perseverance and hope, we must pursue our dreams.
We must strive with the courage to confront and break though society's corruption and guile. Then our path will surely open a step further, and our minds will be purified of regrets.
Life is Ultimately a battle with oneself. It is also a struggle against external forces. Nothing is more pitiable in life than to be defeated. Do effort and wisdom distinguish the vectors from the vanquished? Or is it fortune or something akin to destiny? Even after a major defeat, it is vital that we begin striving again with that experience as our foundation. How well we grapple with stern realities, using the whole of our beings and experience, how deeply we think of our own lives and society in the struggle and how noble the goals we cherish-these are what create value in life, which is something for which youth should be thankful.
1. Will
2. Courage
3. Sincerity
Believe in yourself, in your convictions and responsibility.
Know the stately swells of the Pacific.
Know the blazing passion of the sun.
Know the solemnity of the mountains.
Know the graceful scarlet of the autumn maples.
Live without forgetting these.
Advance with them in your hearts.
Be courageous in today's battle.
Celebrate tomorrow's ideal.
Forget the dreams of the past.
Arise, for the dreams of the future!
Advance, advance,
Onward and eternally.

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  • Reading: A Youthful Diary

Traveling Gypsy

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 31, 2010, 7:19 PM
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Just an update, I'm no longer in Bryan Texas nor in Austin I'm now in Kansas City home staying with my friends parents house. I have Lots of picture to post soon and very excited!

Thanks for the comments y'all! It really lifted the spirit!
I was on the road for 12 full hours on my birthday and now finally have access to internet!

I could be back in LA within two weeks or less.. It would takes about 2 1/2 days from here.

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  • Listening to: my iPod
  • Reading: The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin VOL 1

Questions I ask to a Famous Person

Journal Entry: Fri Jul 30, 2010, 10:55 PM
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Seriously... I'm quite curious to know how one's life became to be as it is today.
It will vary though since I don't know what the subject is based on there fame, but it's simple enough that I think it could fit in any category. You may answer these questions too if you like, but I find these questions suitable for people 35+. Please feel free to correct any questions if you know a better way to write them, not that I'm writing a paper or anything, it just lingers in my thoughts.

:bulletblue:"Who or what got you motivated to accomplish your goals/dream and made you big for it?"

:bulletblue:"How do you break Procrastination to keep yourself up on your toes?"

:bulletblue:"Where would you be if you didn't take the opportunity that got you here today?"

:bulletblue:"Is there a particular Faith you follow that help you towards your Career?"

:bulletblue:"Do you remember any Dreams that would show a sign that you would be famous one day?"

:bulletblue:"Critiques, do you change anything or ignore but learn something from it?

:bulletblue:"When there's a bad fortune cookie do you brush it off or prevent it from happening?"

:bulletblue:"When all else fails how do get back up again?"

:bulletblue:"What kind of music you listen that keeps you focused?"

:bulletblue:"Victory, how do you influence others to win?"

:bulletblue:"Is there a particular Country that inspires you? What are there features?" (life style, food, art, music etc.)

:bulletblue:"If you can have ONE Ability what would it be?"   


Art wise:
Currently drawing an India God known as Venkateswara….
I'm trying to get it done by the 7th of August, I am working on large paper since so much details to be drawn and colored. I really want my time in Texas to be creative and have at least 8 or more piece of work to add for my Portfolio, my main goal is to gather my work into various prints and set up my own stand to display my work. I'm doing whatever it takes to get myself into a career that will suit my talent, I learn from other people here on DeviantART by the years to see how they gradually open themselves up in public. I know for fact that many of them got to be were they are today from college and that is my challenge to get a BFA of MFA (Fine Arts) so these jobs know that I'm well taught and ready.
It's overwhelming to think about it, but I'm fighting what ever it takes to get to my damn Goal. But not all are well educated and got to be wealthy with there talent, I was told that I have that ability but I'm leaning toward education just encase...

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  • Listening to: my iPod
  • Reading: The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin VOL 1


Journal Entry: Wed Jul 21, 2010, 9:37 PM
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Until the second last week of October is when Mark (Whom I'm staying with) finish his Hospital job. I just get to tag along and have ME TIME at home working with my art and exploring TEXAS, it's actually not bad as I thought and the diversity make things at ease. I have just finished decorating our apartment with half of my stuff from LA, the internet is great and all we need is basic cable. I will be hunting down magazines to draw and storm up more Gothic ideas from Etcher.

It's been so busy with my spiritual self and my environment I may not be able to catch up with thanking all the :+fav: and comments, except with facebook... So stay tuned for a few weeks because I'm ready to start whipping my pencils and letting the creativeness explode!

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  • Listening to: stuff in my iPod
  • Reading: The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin VOL 1
  • Watching: things on Youtube
  • Eating: cultural family food
  • Drinking: Pepsi

Good Vibes and New Start

Journal Entry: Tue Jul 13, 2010, 8:41 PM
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My Highway 101 trip from Astoria Oregon to LA California was the best trip ever!!! And San Fransisco was quite a place I have ever experience. That is why I have been recently posting pictures instead of my traditional work-which will be posting up soon! I drew a model of Josephine Backer which I rarely draw people and not my taste but it was a test!
I am challenging myself to draw people instead of my usual ornaments or architectures which I love and adore, but since I visited San Fransisco it really juiced up my creativity. My boyfriend owns a CANON EOS REBEL XS and those pictures I posted are from his camera, I'm just have a ball with it whenever I take pictures. :)

I have recently join my Nation Buddhist festival called "ROCK THE REA" and I was a participant/dancer in the fest, my brother and sister from Oregon were involved and it was comforting to see them here in LA with me. I will be on a look out to find this festival on Youtube or on DVD and I will show you guys what part I was dancing in. :D This was on July 10th.

I am so happy with life and busy with it. This summer is something I have never experience in my whole life!

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  • Listening to: stuff in my iPod
  • Reading: The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin VOL 1
  • Watching: things on Youtube
  • Eating: cultural family food
  • Drinking: Sushi Bar Green Tea

Back home in Oregon

Journal Entry: Mon May 24, 2010, 11:03 PM
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A lot of friends said that I changes a bit, look more tanned than ever, something about me that looks different on the inside. It is true, I learned a lot about my self since I lived independently for five month and dealt with personal drama from a relative. I have never been so involved with my Buddhist community since I took things for granite because I had everything all at home and relied on rides from my parents or brother. I learned to do things my own ways from blood, sweat, hunger, and take risk in Los Angeles, they say it's too risky to go walking at night, I have no problems so far *knock on wood* and have not run into any trouble. I live in West Adams so it's a bit of both safe and troublesome, I hear sirens 24/7 and helicopters with searchlights at night, all this buzz dose not surprise me.
What I get is what I get, I learned to adapt my new environment quickly and observe the good and the bad side of people, places and things.   
I may be here for a week with my family and friends then back to o' drama with this relative and surviving whats left in my food covers. Still don't have a job and not in school yet, I'm planning to go to CalArts since a lot of people advise me to go because of my work. I will see for my self and get a grant ASAP to get this schooling in my life to get over with and make a damn cause for my Career.

I have help others so much it's hard to take care of my self and give my self MY OWN needs, I'm such a giver than a receiver. That is why this Relative is SO DAMN ENVIOUS on me I just can't stand this person around my life anymore... So I am still learning about my self to change so I can handle this person calmly. I would always boil up inside even if I just think of this person and I try to talk things out, I never met someone so back stabbing and hard headed in my life! But it is possible that this person is going threw Bipolar disorder. Also I am to keep this conversation personally because this is personal Family matter. Please don't mention this to your family Serena, it will be greatly appreciated!!! ^^;   

On the side note;Some parts of LA is so cheap it's hard to avoid it and it really stretches your budget! The Tap water is terrible! I notice after I shower my hands look oddly dry around the web of my hand and parts of my leg, something up with the reservoir! I notice Oregon tap water is so smooth when I bathes, the soap is so slick and dose not have this rough texture like California and other states I've been to. I'm very Observant about the water wherever I go! I have been getting juicy art Ideas but I my appetite to draw get's spoiled by this relatives I'm dealing with. I would move but it's very complex and deals with family and relationship matters, that is why I have been posting photos so far.
I am determined to get something done on paper since I am dieing to get new Graphite pencils sets and more paper!!! So for now I will gather much of my creativeness and start getting something on paper because I honestly miss drawing, I have not drawn in the past FIVE MONTH since I moved... This is terrible!!!! I can't afford to take more of this persons crap because I have a freaking life to take care of, for my damn happiness and future!

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  • Listening to: stuff in my iPod
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  • Drinking: GUAYAKÍ Yerba Mate TEA

Work in Progress (PLEASE READ)

Journal Entry: Thu Mar 4, 2010, 12:28 AM
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:tribute:To those who just watch me this year I thank you, I am honored and very appreciated.
I am unable to post any work at the moment because of technical issues with my computer, I post my work by taking a picture because I don't own a scanner. I use the SD card from my camera and upload my work to the Laptop but since I got a Laptop that's been repaired, I haven't figure out why the computer is not reading the SD card. I have a lot of pictures I'm dieing to post and currently communicating with my brother in Oregon to help.
So it may take some few time, also a side note to everyone since I'm not dead!

Los Angeles is very interesting, but somehow normal to me in different perspectives.
Sales Tax, Huge city, cheap bus fair ($1.25 in Oregon it's $2.35), hip or glamorous fashion, old pretty buildings, fakers, graffiti, Tons of Hispanic culture, The occasional Smoggy air and Wacko Drivers! Oregon is nothing compared to LA and is a huge different! I moved on Christmas Day and gradually became humble after a week!
I just like the Palm trees and the fact that I'm 30 minuets away from the beach.  
When I figure out how to get this computer to read the SD card I am excited to post pictures of my current house. It's not easy living in this house since it is own by a Private Federation and won't have outsiders (including friends or guess) to enter.
So I spend most of my time with my Aunt because we like to be out with people who make us happy and not be bored and lonely at the house. My Uncle is the care taker and he is a non-social/loner type, I love him but I can't be like him. Actually it's a Mansion, and deal with daily paranormal stuff or FULL of spirits, they are good ones because I can sense them. I would often mingle with them when I'm bored. It's also weird to be living in a place that is a Tourist attraction since it was filmed in the HBO Series in 2000 "6 Feet Under" as the "Fisher and Sons Funeral Home" and few other Local films.
I think LA may be a new home for me but I'm currently battling my life to make it happen.

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  • Listening to: Random music in my Ipod
  • Reading: old stuff from the 1920-40's
  • Watching: Youtube
  • Playing: The Spirits in my new house
  • Eating: cultural family food
  • Drinking: Yerba Mate tea

My Two Portfolios

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 7, 2009, 11:29 PM
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I have not put much of my Project works but considering to make a third one on the side. I thought I start sharing these portfolios to people now since it's more "Professional" and mainly not to get loss when they go to my Deviant page instead.
Please tell me what you think, I would love to hear your feedback!

My Traditional works…

My conceptual Photography…

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Journal Entry: Wed Dec 2, 2009, 12:50 PM
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Wisdom for Modern Life by Daisaku Ikeda
Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The main thing is to be proud of the work you do, to live true to yourself. Activity is another name for happiness. What‚'s important is that you give free, unfettered play to your unique talents, that you live with the full radiance of your being. This is what it means to be truly alive.

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  • Listening to: Random music on my Ipod
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  • Drinking: Ceylon green tea